Up the Hill.....

It's one of those days. 

One of those days when you feel like you have a huge hill to climb, no climbing shoes and no rope to tether you.  Yet you know that you have to keep climbing or the fall backwards will be more painful than you'd like.

There is just so much on the list and only this much time to get it done.  Yet, how much of how I feel is internal?  Who is really pushing me?  Anyone?

There have been so many changes in my life recently that I still feel unadjusted and out of sorts.  I have lost my "ME" time.  You know, that time between work and dinner that was just for ME?  That time that no one was in the house and I could just wind down, or watch tv, or sort mail or whatever?  Whithout that time, I feel different...less me.

So how do I get back? There are only so many ways to tell someone that you need "me" time without hurting their feelings or making them feel rejected.  It's hard to explain something without assigning blame...yet, really the blame is my own.  I am not speaking up, I am not being assertive and I am letting things slip because of that.

So, next step?  Making the lists, checking them twice and tackling them.  Without the guilt and using the climbing shoes available to me.