Sometimes Upset is not Strong Enough

There are a few things in life that get me upset, I really make an effort to "Keep Calm and Carry On", to let things roll off me and channel any frustration I may feel into something else - like business, or decorating or banging my head against a wall.

Oh wait, did I just say that?  Yes, well even I am not, you know, perfect at letting it go.

But for the past 12 years I have worked (and yea I mean worked) hard at keeping peace in my blended family.  I have not always succeeded - for example school was not a subject we agreed on - but I tried.

Yet sometimes it is one person who can continue to do things, whether out of innocence or not, that make all of your good efforts go away.  I grew up with a stepmother who really did not like me (or my brother or sister) very much.  She went out of her way to ensure that my Dad did not see us or talk with us much.  It took many years for me to forgive my Dad - I did not know it wasn't his fault and that he was in the dark too - but thankfully, I was able to have a good relationship with him for a few years before he passed away.  But from this I knew how "not" to be a stepmother.

I did not attend certain parties or events out of respect for the children.  I held my tongue when things were said that were hurtful to me or my family.  I gave in when my family was excluded from events.  And I thought we were finally past it all.  Until last night.

And I realized it won't ever change.

I (and my family) will always be the "other one".

I'm finding this one hard to let go .  I don't know if I should.  Maybe it is time to "Screw Calm and Get Angry".

Because sometimes upset is not strong enough.

Especially for a strong woman.